Problems with the Scepter
by Flashfire97
Summary: After a shocking death rocks the team, they inlist the help of Maurcus Vincent, a powerful Elemental with a split personality and a love for yo-yos. Together they must once again take on the most powerful weapon ever created: The Scepter of the Ancients
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: ****Technically Marcus Vincent is not my character. He was the brain child of my friend and I, and the character is also featured in Aniewun B. Utme's (my friend) story Elemental: Earth. Again, I give him half credit. (not really I'm just saying that so he would ease up off my back about it)**

An eerie tapping echoed through out the small room. The culprit: the nervous shoe of Skulduggery Pleasant. He sat at the edge of the large conference table, deep in the heart of the Sanctuary. Across the long table from him, Tanith sat there. She had polished her sword so many times over the glare off of the ceiling light would have blinded Skulduggery, had he had eyes and the light wasn't a fading 40 watt bulb. Next to Tanith was the ever reluctant Valkrie. She sat there, her eyes lazily sweeping the room for the 9,385,583,744th time that hour.

"When is he going to be here?" Valkrie asked impatiently, followed by the soft sound of broken silence bouncing off the floor.

"Just wait," Skulduggery pleaded. Another silence crept over the room.

"I've waited," Valkrie said, with just barley a five second hesitation. Skulduggery lowered his sunglasses, peering at her with his empty eye-sockets.

"This Marcus dude doesn't seem to be much of a stickler for the time eh'?" Tanith commented, lightly chuckling to herself.

"He said he would be here at eight a-m, what time is it now?"

Valkrie rolled her eyes and checked her watch. "10:53," she said without looking up.

"What the f-?" he mumbled. Valkrie held up her hands to practice conjuring fire when a man burst through the wooden double doors. He was about as tall as Skulduggery, with tan skin and light brown hair that just covered his ears. His face was covered in stubble and his mouth was a brilliant smile. His hands were covered in small fingerless gloves looked like they had been sewed together from burnt leather. Most of his arms were concealed in his jacket sleeves, but you could just barely see a watch under the cuff. His jacket collar was popped and slightly worn. The zipper had been undone revealing a sleeveless undershirt that said 'been there, kicked ass, and came back. Now you want me to do it gracefully?" The line drew a clever smirk to Valkrie's face, but it quickly disappeared. His pants were covered in a light dusting of dirt and had a few holes in it. Nothing too unusual, except for his eyes; His pupils-if he had any-had fully dilated so they were too small to see. His brown eyes were so light they almost blended in the white. The man walked up to the chair, jumped over it, and landed with a '_thud!_' that brought a smile to his grimy face.

"How goes it peoples?" he asked in a deep voice that was slurred with a combination between a Southern and an Australian accent. His head bobbed up and down like he was listening to music, and creepiest of all, he appeared to be "checking out" Tanith. He winked at her and Tanith rolled her eyes. Skulduggery flipped open a small manila portfolio in front of him and quickly scanned its contents.

"You would be Marcus Vincent?" He asked. The name sent a chill down Marcus's spine and he closed his eyes. When he opened his eyes again his pupils had expanded and his iris had turned into a normal dark brown.

"Please," he asked in a very proper English accent. "I would enjoy to be referred to as Vincent." Vincent sat up in his chair, dusted himself off, and folded his hands in his lap. His attention remained clearly focused on Skulduggery.

Valkrie was confused. That looked nothing like the man whom had just entered the room. This man was calm, orderly, and clean. The man whom walked through the door ten seconds ago was reckless, careless, and, creepy. Tanith was looking at her, like they were sharing the same idea. Tanith leaned closer to him.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Vincent turned around in his chair. When he saw Tanith his expression did not change, and his breathing stayed idle. Whoever this new personality was, he did not care for Tanith.

"I am in a state of well-being to my greatest ability. Is there something wrong?"

Tanith narrowed her gaze, but calmly allowed him to return to his business.

"Now, Mr. Vincent-" Skulduggery began, only to be interrupted by Vincent.

"Please, no Mr. My name is just Vincent."

Skulduggery shifted his gaze back to the portfolio. "Okay, Vincent; It says here you are a demolitions expert. Can you expand on that?"

Again Vincent's head twitched and his pupils dilated. "Ah geese what is there to say?" he said, his strange accent returning. "I blow stuff up! And oh-my-gosh is it not the most gosh darned coolest job in the planet!" He howled. Once he regained his composure he turned to Tanith."You should come to me next demolition. The female suits can be some what small but, I'm sure you can handle it."

Tanith gagged. Now even Skulduggery was concerned. "Vincent?" he asked. Vincent turned to him and smiled.

"Please," he asked. "Call me Marcus." If Skulduggery had eyebrows one would most definitely be raised. Then Marcus made a small joyous gasped like he had just learned that Becky had asked out Tyler. "Oh that's right! You don't know about the split personality thing." His head twitched again and he let out a deep sigh. "Sorry about that. Marcus was the side effect of a spell I cast on myself 18 years ago. He's narcotic, criminally insane, an avid yo-yoist-he probably got that from me-and above all else, very annoying. I'm sorry if he offended you." Vincent apologized, saying the last comment to Tanith. She blushed and turned back to her sword.

"Excuse me if this is too personal, but exactly what spell did you cast that caused that?" Valkrie asked. Vincent changed into Marcus.

"I may not be awake but I can still hear you." Valkrie frowned, making a mental note not to offend Marcus around Vincent. Vincent resurfaced. "What else?" he said playfully, a half smile inching across his face. "The ability to do this-"

Vincent raised his hand in the air and snapped, and the light bulb above us exploded.

_________

PLEASE! R&R!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

Skulduggery grumpily walked around the room, lighting the candles. The candles cast 17 different shadows on everything in the room, creating a very exciting and dizzy feel.

Tanith felt a surge of adrenaline rush through her body in response to this new environment. She silently cursed under her breath and fought to contain it, when her arm holding the sword shot out and nearly took of Valkrie's head.

"Tanith!" she protested.

"Sorry-OW!" her leg kicked up and it hit the underside of the table. Skulduggery dumped himself in the chair and turned to face Vincent.

"Vincent, was that necessary?" he asked.

"Tricked cha'!" Marcus shouted playfully. His head twitched and his pupils expanded. "Sorry about that. Marcus has realized that if he just twitches his head he can convince people that he is me."

"But he is you, sort of," Valkrie pointed out.

"Never the less, I came here so I could assist in the recapturing of a valuable artifact. Skulduggery, why am I here?"

He pulled a small 11x8½ card out of a folder lying next to him and showed it to Valkrie.

"Valkrie, what does this look like to you?" The picture was a short golden rod; dinged up from age and use. A small black gem was impregnated into the base and was surrounded by beautifully carved designs and glyphs. The rod was covered in dust, and the picture was grainy, but Valkrie recognized it instantly. She should have, because that very rod had almost killed her.

"That's the Scepter of the Ancients," she said, obviously confused. "But I thought is was-"

"Powerless?" he interrupted. "So did I, until yesterday. Remember how we left it with China Sorrows? It has been stolen."

Tanith raised one eyebrow. "That's impossible! You can't take someone's possessions when they're, when they're…" her voice trailed off. She put her hand over her mouth, her expression one of pure shock. "It's not possible… Skulduggery, is she…?"

Skulduggery hung his head, his movements slow and sad. "Yes Tanith; China is dead."

Valkrie's heart skipped a beat and the room became silent. Vincent was the first to speak.

"I, I'm sorry for your loss."

Skulduggery's breathing became labored, with a few partial whimpers. "It's okay."

After another few minutes of silence, Valkrie spoke up. "Who has the scepter?"

"I don't know, but China's body left no particular evidence. She was shot, but that's all we know."

"Where was she keeping the Scepter?" Vincent asked, trying to be as much help as possible.

Skulduggery coughed, and his original firmness returned to his voice. "It was held in a charmed glass box next to her coffee table."

"Charmed?" asked Valkrie.

"It was magically sealed using the 'withstand' spell that Tanith uses often." Tanith sunk into her chair, avoiding the sudden wave of eye contact. "It also was locked with a normal key lock, but the locked had been picked."

"Does anyone have the key?" Valkrie asked.

"No, China threw it out as soon as she got the Scepter. The only actual damage to the box was a small gash on the edge." He pulled out a picture of the display case and passed it around. "It could have been made by any kind of blade. That's all we know for now, you are free to move about the cabin." He made a slight grin, but everyone just rolled their eyes and got up. Valkrie followed Tanith out of the room, but Tanith turned around and said she had to speak to Skulduggery. Valkrie let her shuffle past and kept walking, but stopped within hearing distance and turned around. Tanith walked up to Skulduggery, who was cleaning up from his briefing.

"I believe this belongs to you," Tanith said, handing Skulduggery his pistol.

"Thanks," he said curiously. "How did you get my gun?"

"Don't you remember? You tossed it to me during our last scuffle."

"I don't remember- oh well, thanks." He nodded to her and pocketed the gun, but not before checking the chambers. "There's a bullet missing? Did you shoot anyone?" Tanith turned around.

"Yeah, but they had it coming." Skulduggery chuckled and slid the gun in his belt. Tanith met Valkrie outside the door and they walked onto the small café around the corner that had recently been installed.

"Just what we need;" Valkrie sighed, "Another killer on the loose."

Tanith chuckled but said nothing.

_______________

R&R!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Valkrie devoured her cheeseburger while Tanith sat across from her, staring blankly into the distance. Valkrie wiped off her mouth with a napkin, set the napkin of fire, and threw it into a near by trash can. She noticed the slice of pizza sitting on Tanith's plate, completely untouched.

"What's wrong?" Valkrie asked.

"I can't believe China's dead." Her face was a mixture of sadness and anger; either she was truly, genuinely upset, or the lunch lady had screwed up her order. "We were good friends, you know?"

"Me too. China was a good person."

Skulduggery came pulling up a chair. He sat at the edge of the table so he was next to both Tanith and Valkrie. "Plan of action anyone?"

Valkrie and Tanith both shook their heads. Marcus came strolling over.

"Sweet! Group meeting!" He pulled over a chair and changed into Vincent. "So what exactly is our course of action for the location and repossession of the Scepter?"

"I was just asking them same question."

"I believe," Vincent started, "that one possible solution to this dilemma would be to scan for DNA at the crime scene or sample that which has been previously found, scan all available archives for a possible identity that has known of the existence of the Scepter or the location, then cross reference the two with all of those capable of or possessing the ability to perform magic to an degree that would possibly manage to break into a charmed containment unit without damaging it to a visible extent. This list could then be used as a suspect list, further narrowed down by the list of those who China either disliked or did not know."

Valkrie rubbed her temples. "Oww, my head hurts." Marcus smiled at her then rolled his eyes.

"Look what you did you living encyclopedia."

Skulduggery gave him a questioning look and addressed the table. "He actually would have made sense if you had managed to understand him. Tanith, you should go to the file room and pull out every single file you can of those who knew about the relocation of the Scepter. Valkrie, you and I will go to the crime scene and try to pull any more information. Vincent-"

Marcus coughed and looked around half-mindedly. Skulduggery sighed. "Marcus, you and Vincent will go to the human relations section of the file room and pull out China's file. You may not be able to access it now that it is being further examined by the high-ups, but you should manage to at least get the list of people she knew."

Valkrie stood up and started putting her jacket on when the door to the café burst open and Guild, with almost 15 Cleavers at his side, strolled in. Skulduggery stood up to confront him, but a Cleaver stepped in front of him and pushed him aside. He fell into a chair and looked away, tripping the next Cleaver that walked by him out of shear annoyance. Guild walked up to the table and looked at the three of them who were still there; Valkrie, Tanith, and Marcus. He stared all three of them down, but his gaze abruptly stopped as he looked at Tanith. Tanith was about to meet his scowl when she was grabbed from behind by a Cleaver and held to her chair.

"Tanith J. Low," he said, in a tone that made you know something sad was about to happen, but he didn't give a crap. "You are here by under arrest."

Tanith's scowl faltered for a second, but then quickly grew into a deadly expression of anger. "WHAT?" she screamed.

"What?" Valkrie asked.

"Hold on a second," Marcus asked, holding up his index finger. He took a sip of water, and then spit it out on the table. He looked at them with a cheesy expression of shock. "What?"  
"Under what grounds?" Tanith asked.

"For the murder of China Sorrows and the theft of the Scepter of the Ancients."

"Oh please!" she shouted at him. "I knew you were stupid from the first time I had the burden of looking at your ugly excuse for a face, but this is just outlandish and rash!"

"Is it?" he asked. "As far as I can recall the evidence is quite clear. The gun you borrowed from Skulduggery that was missing a round. China Sorrows was shot. The box was secured with a spell you are not only a master at, but misuse on a regularly basis."

Valkrie recalled the time when Tanith had muttered "withstand" to the bathroom door while Guild was on the privy. He immerged 3 hours later, covered in toilet paper and very mad.

"You know China Sorrows well, and have never respect he Council of the Elders-"

"Council of One," Tanith muttered.

"Exactly my point!" he shouted.

"What?"

"You have no respect for me or the other… never mind. The point is that the evidence has been presented in such a way that-"

That's when Tanith lashed out. She punched the Cleaver pinning her down in the face and stood up. Two more Cleavers charged at her but she quickly ducked and tripped them. Guild reached for her but she tossed him aside and drew her sword. As a Cleaver was drawing his scythe she cut the handle in two. She ran across the café and ducked behind a counter, shielding her form view. The Cleavers started walking toward the counter precariously. One Cleaver slashed out with his scythe and the counter exploded.

"What the blazes?" screamed Guild semi-ironically. The fire ball burnt itself out and the fire extinguished.

"Valkrie," asked Skulduggery. "What just happened?"

Valkrie paused a second before answering. "Tanith just died."

Then Skulduggery uttered the words a million fans of the series were thinking; "About time."


End file.
